How to Stop Caring What People Think

Fashion Edition

The biggest thing stopping you from finding your personal style or dressing how you want isn’t your body, it isn’t your budget, and it definitely isn’t that you aren’t a fan of whatever micro-trend is happening this week.

It’s most likely that you’re afraid of other people’s opinions.

This is how it used to be for me, and it seems to be the same way for many of my social media followers, who message me asking how to not care what people think of them when they dress up.

But, firstly, we have to address what dressing up nowadays means.

Usually, it’s the most basic outfit possible.

It’s often jeans and a t-shirt, and then you have a Karen in the corner telling you to stop thinking you are all that. But here’s the secret: you are all that. The people who hate you and try to stop you by putting you down or belittling the things you love are simply attempting to dim your light so it doesn’t outshine theirs. You see this in every high school movie with mean girls upset over someone else being comfortable in their own skin, when they aren’t comfortable in theirs, you can see it in relationships when one of the partners belittles or allows their friends to belittle their partner in an attempt to dull them because of their own insecurity.

These behaviors aren’t constructive criticisms or trying to help someone. And if you’re a people pleaser or someone overly anxious, the easiest thing to do in these situations is to fold.

I did, for years.

In elementary school, I would dress up. Then, in middle school, I got made fun of and stopped. In High school, I started by continuing to dress like everyone else, but after being hospitalized for an eating disorder, I realized life was too short and dressed up again.

I had girls coming up to me in the bathroom to tell me they wished they had my confidence. But I also had people making fun of me.

But by the time I moved away to college, I caved again. I wanted to meet people, and dressing classy or feminine made it more difficult because everyone assumed I was a prude. Until I found a job that embraced the way I loved to dress.

During that time, I started my social media accounts, and I realized I needed to stop dressing to make other people happy. But to make myself happy. And here’s how you can do the same.

Babysteps: find a go-to outfit that feels like you but isn’t too much

My go-to outfit is a white blouse, jeans, some heels, and a few accessories. It’s simple and incredibly basic, but it feels dressed up while still remaining casual. It’s not too much, but it looks good.

Come up with this version for you. Maybe it’s a dress with some flats. Or a skirt and a tank top. The goal is effortless, chic, and semi-casual. You’re testing the waters of wearing what you want, but not going all the way simply because you aren’t comfortable yet.

And one day? Before you know it, you’ll want to wear that detailed top, that embellished skirt, and you’ll have no problem channeling your inner Blair Waldorf.

Pretend you’re dressing a character

And speaking of Blair Waldorf, she was a character who helped me to know it was ok to embrace my inner fashionista. Find that character or personal alter-ego for you, and use that to feel confident as you begin to step out of your comfort zone and into your true self as you get dressed in the morning.

Mean comments aren’t coming from happy people

When people comment about your clothes, how often are they the people who are dressed in frumpy outfits and unhappy in their own lives? Honestly, a lot. It’s the same with hate comments on social media, because if User.21244671 with no profile picture is commenting that you’re not wearing a cute outfit–what are the odds they are?

People who put others down are unhappy; happy people don’t hate on others.

If someone comments, would you wear what they’re wearing?

So when you hear something mean, ask yourself, would you wear what they’re wearing?

This isn’t to be mean or hate on their outfits as everyone has a different style, but if you don’t genuinely feel like you’d take fashion advice from them, then don’t take the criticism.

Dress for your 80 and 8-year-old self

If your 8-year-old self loved fashion and drooled over girls in their 20s walking down the street in heels, be that girl. Make little you proud.

Same goes for your 80 year-old-self. What would they want you to do right now? What would they want you to wear? Now is the time to eliminate regrets and live a life that will make the older you proud.